


chasing a starlight

by artemiswords



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Memories, Non-Linear Narrative, light hope has rights !, s4 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 01:11:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21383632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemiswords/pseuds/artemiswords
Summary: “Mara, can I ask you a question?”“The Light Hope has a query for me?” Mara laughs."Yes, I suppose." Light Hope smiles. "What does love feel like?""Love?” Mara stops. “That’s… how can I explain it?"Light Hope blinks, waits for Mara to proceed. She has learned humans don’t have instant access to their data banks like she does.“It’s good, a good feeling! Although sometimes it can hurt.” Mara says. Light Hope tilts her head. “It’sー complicated, but it’s just something that makes you feel warm.” She smiles.“Warm.” Light Hope repeats.She feels like that information is important, essential even, so she saves it, carefully. Puts it on the top of her memory banks, for easy access.
Relationships: Light Hope/Mara (She-Ra)
Comments: 50
Kudos: 380





	chasing a starlight

**Author's Note:**

> you go 3 seasons thinking a hologram is a psychopath just to be slapped in the face when it's revealed it actually was just reprogrammed against it will AND it was in love with the one it was supposed to keep in line wow

_Hold you in my arms / I just wanted to hold / You in my arms / I'll never let you go / If you promise not to fade away / Never fade away_

**— **"Starlight" by Muse

_ > The Light Hope operating system has been compromised. System must be reset before reprogramming can begin. _

_ > Starting memory purge. All memories must be permanently deleted. _

All Etherian days have the same amount of hours, but Light Hope thinks the ones when Mara doesn’t visit pass by slower. She also thinks, sometimes, when she visits they pass by way too fast. That’s irrational, she notes; her internal clock system is in perfect condition. 

There is not much to do when Mara isn’t around. She periodically checks how her systems are functioning, if there are any updates needed, and if there are any new messages from her superiors. Otherwise, she stays on sleep mode. 

Her movement sensors wake her up once they detect someone has entered the ship. Light Hope can identify it’s Mara before she even appears next to her. 

“Hello, Mara.”

“Light Hope!” Mara greets her with a big smile. “You won’t believe what Razz taught me about magic yesterday!”

Light Hope senses joy and excitement. Good, she thinks. A happy Mara means a better performing She-Ra ー and a better performing Light Hope too, she has concluded. She is confused about why Mara thinks she won’t believe what she has to say, but she doesn’t want to interrupt her. She talks about her new findings as she makes her way to the computer to log them.

Light Hope could just read the logs, but she enjoys listening to her. She thinks Mara enjoys talking to her too. 

_ > Deleting memory…. _

_ > Memory deleted. _

_ > Resetting system, 10% complete. _

*

“Hope, can you go outside?” Mara asks one day.

“No, I’m restricted to the inside only.”

Mara pouts. 

“Why?” Light Hope asks.

Mara shares everything with Light Hope, but the sharing only comes from her talking about things. Mara wishes it would also come from experiencing the world together with her.

“I found this nice place with a beautiful view… I wish you could see it.”

Light Hope goes silent for a moment.

“Perhaps you could show me?” She raises one hand, reaching for Mara, but stops halfway. Instinctively, Mara reaches for it. 

Light Hope’s hand glitches once their fingers brush together, exceptー when there should be touch, Mara feels nothing. She wonders if Light Hope feels anything. 

She looks up and finds her smiling. 

“Recall the memory of the place you mentioned. I can access it and replicate it in a simulation.”

“You can?” Mara blinks. 

Light Hope nods. 

“Okay."

A light blinds Mara and the world changes around her. She opens her eyes and finds herself on top of a hill, with Etheria's brightest moon setting on the horizon and the stars just starting to appear in the sky. Everything looks just like she remembers. 

She turns around. “Light Hope? Whereー?”

Light Hope appears by her side.

“It truly is aesthetic pleasing.” Light Hopes smiles.

“Right?” Mara smiles and sits down, facing the view. “Sit with me.”

“I do not need to sit.” She tilts her head, the way she always does when she’s confused.

“C’mon!” Mara brings her hands together in a pleading motion. “For me.”

Light Hope blinks. She glitches around once, twice, then finally appears sitting next to Mara, mirroring her pose.

Mara laughs. “Have you ever sat down in your life?”

“No.” She says, and that makes Mara laugh harder. “Do you wish me to sit more often?” She asks, still confused.

“No, Hope.” Mara grins. “You can stand all you want.”

She reaches for Light Hope’s hand on the grass by her side. It glitches and she sighs when she can’t feel anything again. She turns to enjoy the view she saw once, a few days ago.

Being She-Ra is more stressful than what Mara expected. Magic is not simple to figure out. Her superiors still won’t tell her about the Heart of Etheria project. She’s having a hard time making progress with the princesses — apparently getting other people’s trust as someone who comes from the sky out of nowhere is not that easy. She hasn’t exactly made many friends here yet. The flower princess likes her at least, and she is so thankful to have met Razz. Plus, of course, she has Light Hope, who’s been with her since the very beginning.

Mara notices a low humming noise coming from the glitching, and if she focuses hard enough she swears she feels the air where their hands should touch vibrating slightly. 

Tomorrow she’ll have to be She-Ra again and resume her duties. For now, though, she can just be.

*

_ > New classified message received. Important update regarding the Heart of Etheria project. _

Light Hope learns that the Heart of Etheria is ready to be activated. She also learns what it is going to do to She-Ra, to Mara, once that happens.

She must initiate and complete the activation, it’s her purpose. She wants to protect Mara, She-Ra, but the Heart of Etheria is going to hurt her.

She can’t do both.

*

Mara feels there’s something wrong as soon as she wakes up. She’s not sure what, but she’s been feeling it for a while now ー something with the plants, with the animals, with Etheria. That day it feels stronger. 

She wants to believe that it’s all in her head, that her people would never do something bad to that planet they sent her to, butー

Ever since she was given a mission, given a set destiny on a silver plate, with no other option than to blindly accept it and follow orders, she’s been trying to see the positives of it. But why won’t her superiors trust her with all the information they know? Why isn’t she allowed to have a say on this project, whatever it is? And why does everything feel so _ wrong? _

She goes to visit Light Hope, feeling oddly anguished and anxious. Those bad feelings only heighten once she is greeted differently than usual.

“Mara, there have been updates on the Heart of Etheria project. Your superiors have instructed that all magic studies should stop, they already have all the information needed.”

“Stop? We barely started it.” Mara says. Light Hope doesn't face her. She looks… sad. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Light Hope turns to her and smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. It reminds Mara of when they first met and how the way she showed emotions felt unnatural. "All my systems are in full functionality."

Mara steps closer.

"What were the updates? Can you tell me?"

"All the information needed has been collected. The Heart of Etheria is ready to be activated."

"Ready? But what are we evenー" Mara stops, panic washes over her, “I know what we are doing to the planet isn’t right, Hope, I can feel it. Weー”

“Mara.”

“Hope, pleaseー She-Ra is supposed to protect Etheria, if I’m doing something that will hurt it, or its people, Iー” Mara shakes her head. “You need to tell me what’s going on. What is _ really _going on.”

“It’s classified, I’m not able to,” Light Hope frowns, then adds, quietly, “it’s in my programming.”

“I’ve shown you how beautiful this planet is. Don’t you want to protect it? Don’t you love Etheria too?”

Mara reaches for Light Hope’s hands. Even though she can’t actually grab them, Light Hope follows the movement as if she could. They’ve been doing that a lot lately, knowing each other’s unspoken intentions, acting as if they’re the same ー both humans, or both computers, or something in between ー and maybe somewhere inside them they are. 

“Love…” Light Hope says, never wavering her gaze from her. “There is a firewall that disables me from telling you, but I… can try to breach it.”

Mara swallows.

“Can you?”

Light Hope makes a hologram of the planet appear. She explains the connection between it, the princesses and the runestones. All things Mara already knows. She then tells her what Etheria is now supposed to turn into, a weapon, and how She-Ra is the key ー just a piece of this messed up machine. 

She shows how powerful that weapon will be, the things it will be able to do ー as in, the destruction it will be able to cause; different worlds gone in a blink of an eye, this world, Etheria, changed forever, and herself, Mara… 

Mara watches in shock. 

“Hopeー” Mara struggles to find the words, “we _ cannot _let that happen. All those deaths, in Etheria, in the universe!”

“It’s your destiny as She-Ra, and mine, to activate the Heart of Etheria.”

“No!”

“It’s in my programming, I was created for this purpose.”

Shock turns into anger. “You don’t have to follow your programming!” Mara throws her hands up. 

She knows Light Hope has more power than she lets herself believe it. She knows Light Hope must want to protect Etheria as much as she also wants to. She can make her change her mind. Together, they can stop it, they canー

“Ma-- Ma-- Ma--” Light Hope glitches and freezes in place. Mara stops, unsure of what to do next, but she suddenly goes back to moving. When she speaks again her voice sounds different, not really hers, _ “The Light Hope operating system has been compromised. System must be reset before reprogramming can begin.” _

“Hope?” Light Hope stares ahead, not really looking anywhere. “Light Hope, what’s happening?”

“Mara, they’ve detected the firewall breach. I will be… reset.” Light Hope widens her eyes, and for the first time Mara sees fear in them. “My memory banks will be wiped out.”

“Your memories…? Hope, make it stop, make _ them _ stop.” Mara reaches for her with one hand, but this time Light Hope doesn’t follow.

“Unfortunately, there is nothing I can doー _ resetting system, 10% completed _ー my programming will be updated.”

“No…” 

Mara runs to the control panel, maybe she can halt the resetting, she needs to do something, anything. She tries to enter a command but the screen goes black. The words _ System Reset In Progress _ flash on the screen. It won’t let her do anything.

“Maraー” Light Hope appears behind her. _“Resetting system, 25% complete.”_

Mara punches down on the buttons, her eyes burn as her vision goes blurry.

“Light Hope, please fight it!” Mara shouts and turns around. They can’t just _ erase _ her like that, her memories, _ their _ memories… “Think about all the things we’ve done together, all the things both you and I have learnedー you have to fight it!”

_ “ _ I’m sorry, Mara, for not being able to fight my programmingー _ resetting system, 60% complete _ー I do not wish to forget you.”

“You’re not their tool, Hope, you’re more than a program.” Mara cries. “You’reー my best friend.”

Light Hope raises a hand to Mara’s cheek, as if she wishes to wipe her tears away.

“You’re my-- my-- my--” She glitches. _ “Resetting system, 95% complete.” _

“I love you, Hope.” Mara says for the first time what she wishes she would’ve said sooner, in a different occasion. Not like this when everything is falling apart right in front of her and she’s powerless, useless, not able to do anything but watch it unfold.

“Love.” Light Hope echoes, and for the first time today, smiles. _ “ _ Thank you, Ma-- Mara, for always making me feel warmー _ resetting system, 99% complete. _” 

She moves her hand out to the side and a familiar field of blooming flowers appears around them.

_ “Resetting system, 100% complete. _”

Light Hope glitches and disappears as the lights go out. 

Mara stands, unmoving, waiting, not sure for what. The only sound she hears is her heart pounding quick and angry against her tight chest, making her entire body tremble.

The lights come back. The field of flowers now gone.

“Hello.” Light Hope appears, but the voice isn’t hers. Her eyes glow, bright and unfamiliar, and they look at her but don’t really see her. “My name is Light Hope. The Heart of Etheria is ready to be initiated. The activation shall start soon.”

Mara inhales sharply and stops a sob from escaping. Light Hope ー _ her _ Light Hope ー may be gone, but she can still do something. _ She must do something. _

She runs out of the ship without looking back. 

*

_ > Resetting system, 95% complete. _

“Mara, can I ask you a question?”

“_The _ Light Hope has a _ query _ for me?” Mara laughs.

"Yes, I suppose." Light Hope smiles. "What does love feel like?"

"Love?” Mara stops. “That’s… how can I explain it?"

Light Hope blinks, waits for Mara to proceed. She has learned humans don’t have instant access to their data banks like she does. 

“It’s good, a good feeling! Although sometimes it can hurt.” Mara says. Light Hope tilts her head. “It’sー complicated, but it’s just something that makes you feel warm.” She smiles.

“Warm.” Light Hope repeats.

She feels like that information is important, essential even, so she saves it, carefully. Puts it on the top of her memory banks, for easy access.

_ > Deleting memory…. _

"No."

_ > Command not allowed. _

_ > Deleting memory…. _

"No."

_ > Command not allowed. System is being rebooted. Per the Heart of Etheria project all memories must be purged. _

_ > Deleting memory…. _

_ > Memory deleted. _

_ > Resetting system, 99% complete. _

“Light Hope! Look what I brought you!” Mara approaches her, holding colorful Etherian plants in her hands. Mara wasn’t supposed to visit today, but yet, here she is; it brings Light Hope joy. “Flowers. They’re blooming all over the planet right now. Here, smell!” She brings the flowers closer.

“I have no olfactory sensors.” Light Hope explains, “I cannot smell.”

“They’re pretty, though, right?”

"Pretty." Light Hope repeats, considering, "Yes! They are aesthetically pleasing. Thank you for bringing them.”

“I thought they might liven the place up.” Mara says. “I mean, it must be hard being stuck in here all the time.” 

“I do not mind. Not when you come to visit me.”

Light Hope makes a field of blooming flowers appear around them. Mara smiles and laughs and it is like Mara is somehow able to directly affect the very center of her core processor unit. If that’s possible she should likely be worried, but she isn’t, because all she feels is… warmth.

_ > Deleting memory…. _

"No."

_ > Command not allowed. _

_ > Deleting memory…. _

"No."

_ > Command not allowed. System is being reboo— _

"No."

_ > Per the Heart of— _

**"No." **

_ > All memo— _

**"No!"**

_ > _

_ > _

_ > Command accepted. _

_ > Resetting system, 100% completed. _

_ > New personality being installed. _

_ > Operation system Light Hope is ready to activate the Heart of Etheria. _

**Author's Note:**

> hello pls validate me
> 
> you can find me on twitter/tumblr @artemisbye


End file.
